Tool Time!

WARNING! MODERN LANGUAGE BELOW! Really. You’ve been warned.

Disclaimer: I do not work for SOE, and SOE does not endorse my views (openly, at least). !

Now that you’ve understood that, let’s get to the fun stuff.

I am starting a new section. It’s called Tool Time.

Here’s how it works. As I am browsing, and I come across a post of monumental tool-ery-ness … I will quote the best chunks here, and then make fun of the person.

As most of you may know, this kind of thing is forbidden on the SOE boards … but I sure as hell can rip anyone a new ass here on my own personal space.

Here’s the first one!

Today’s entry comes from poster Rhymez (yes, spelled with a Z, isn’t that clever? I bet he thought no one would ever get it!) on the SOE Brigand board.

This came in reply to Aeralik.

Part 1:

honestly how long did it take you even to design the Rouge epics ? it appears to me it was done 20min before lunch the epics dont like there was much effort put into them and for that we pay you every month for doing bascially nothing ?
youve shown alone taking the flurry proc idea from the brigand forum on flames that you totally lack creativity

Im still pissed that we were asked what wed like to have on our epics and then it ends up on someone else’s

Part 2 (posted, in succession, as a second post immediately following the above):

I mean srly you either dont want to understand it or you dont understand it that a proc would suck considering when our proc tends to go off

and ifu think reducing cast and recovery with our AA to 0,2secs cast recovery would cut it then ur totally mistaken aswell dude

is it really that hard to grasp for you ? if yes roll a Brigand buff him to 80 run a raid and lets see how awesome it goes for you

and you are also aware of that haste comes out my [cant control my vocab] already in a guild that can obtain mythicals
all your current suggestions FAIL dude

I mean srly do you test stuff at all ? it appears to me you dont

…

WOW!

Okay, this is gonna be FUN! Let’s take it blow by blow.

First of all, the word is spelled R-O-G-U-E. The G comes BEFORE the U. “Rouge” is a red make-up that women wear. Idiot.

Second, if you want someone to take your arguments “srsly” then try to spell out words properly.

Third, coherent sentences help. Spaces between your words. Pause. Breathe. Let your fingers rest. Try placing adjectives, adverbs, and nouns in their proper places. Use commas, apostrophes. If you didn’t learn these things in the THIRD GRADE then maybe you ought to GO BACK. With your mentality, I’m sure you’d fit right in with the other 9-year olds.

Fourth. Go get a job. Get a girlfriend. Maybe a cat? At least then you’ll have some kind of pussy. You can’t possibly be getting any with the kind of attitude you currently exhibit. No really. Chicks dig guys who can’t spell, are mean and nasty, have little education, and spend all day typing at their keyboard about “procs” and “stats”. You’ll be married in no time, man. Take a shower. Clearly your hands have been on your dick, and your head up your ass, a little too much, lately.

Fifth. Double posting? What, you got so mad and worked up over a few sentences that you just HAD to come back and spew out some more venom? It’s a like a little kid who didn’t get the balloon he wanted at that birthday party. “SRSLY” Grow the fuck up, little boy.

Lastly, while I’m sure it’s of no concern whatsoever to a person of your great caliber, calling people names and insulting them is not ever going to get you anywhere. ((I hereby claim this segment and all future Tool Time segments EXEMPT from my own wisdom, such as “calling names never gets you anyhwere.” While I personally am well aware of such wisdom, the Tool Time theme does not line up with such ideas.))  This is why it’s so obvious you can’t possibly hold a job. It may, however, get you ignored and ensure that your class gets less attention than others. Since you parse number 2, anyway, and were never intended to compete for the top DPS spots, I think you ought to count your chickens and take a nice big walk along the STFU path.

And that concludes the first installment of Ratwarlock’s Tool Time.

Stay tuned! Same Rat time, same Rat channel!

Summer Cleaning

I did a little re-organization of my sidebar. There is now a section for my ongoing/informative posts that I update and edit from time to time, such as the Video Showcase, Newbie 101’s, and Dungeon Rundown, etc. Many of these I started over a year ago, and now that the blog has aged a little bit, I felt it was a good time to dust them off and give them some light.  You can also now more easily view old posts through the monthly archives.

Awesomeness!

I don’t think that’s a word.

But as I approach 10k unique hits … I wanted to say THANKS! for reading me.

And if you type in: “eq2″ and “warlocks” in Google … I come up at Number 5.

SWEET!

See you round!

I want my eyeballs missing again!

Warlock helms have not, for several months, now, left the empty eye sockets or blue eyes as they used to do.

Our eyes just look normal, now, when we have the helm equipped.  This is sad, because I had lots of people tell me how cool an effect it was …

Why was this changed?  Lotus specifically stated that it was an intentional part of the design, when the hats finally came out.

Rats are Better

I am convinced that players who have ratongas are more friendly, more crazy, more involved, and more secure in themselves in general than other players.

http://forums.station.sony.com/eq2/posts/list.m?topic_id=407172

I exclude myself from the adjectives “friendly” and “secure”.  =P

Go Give Your FEEDback

Please do your part and provide CONSTRUCTIVE and WORTHWHILE insight into the following:

For wizards:

The New Wizard Bug/Issue List

and for the few, the proud, the Warlocks:

The New Warlock Issues and Concerns Thread

Becuase we all know those archaic issue threads from 3 years ago are oh-so-relevant … SO GO POST IN THE NEW ONES.

As you all know, I have already ranted … however, I shall now offer some of my own verbose insight:

- Overall base damage scale. This just simply should be higher. We are competing with chain-wearing, auto-attacking, poison-proccing, dual-wielding melee. Nuff said. I am not out to nerf those classes, I am out to better my own.

- Group encounters: not just more of them — but TOUGHER and longer lasting! Example of WIMPY LINKED ECNOUNTER: the new Runnyeye. Oh yay there are like 12 goblins all linked. Oh wait they all have like 1000 HP and die before I can even cast Cataclysm! this is NOT what warlocks mean by challenging linked encounters! We want big, hard, groups, with lots of HPs. So we can unleash our full fury of high DPS linked nukes. A good example of this priniciple in the past: Castle Mistmoore Inner Sanctum.

- Power regen. I don’t mind a boost from Troubs and Enchanters … but when every other class has 3/4 power full after 2 minutes of fighting, and you’ve been OUT of power for 45 seconds … well … something is wrong. We should not need to be SO reliant on other classes.

- Useless abilities. The green curse line is a waste of hot bar space. Increase our niche and our role by replacing it with an additional linked-damage AE or DoT.
- Filling our niche role. with our AE role … but we want to deal obscene damage in those situations, and still nominally parse in single target encounters. A wizard or conjuror should not be able to equal our AE (but close) and we should not be able to equal a wizard or assassin in singles (but third). To be bluntly honest, sorcerers want to be un-equivocally at or near the top of the parse, all the time. We feel that, in giving up ALL else, we ought to be consistently top 3, and very close to Predators, at that. With an equal chance at number 1. No other class should be near us, because no other class gives up what we do.
- damage, not utility. The loss of Propagations was a blow. But prior to that, we were fairly happy only have just one major utility buff. No one much complained. That’s becuase our DPS at the time was also alright. But if we don’t the the DPS, and we don’t have that one nice buff, then shit — what are we? That being said — I personally DO NOT want, and never will want, more than one nice buff utility — no. I want damage. Damage, damage, and more damage. And my buff better help everyone around me do more damage, too. So get this: if you give me a BUFF — it better increase MY DPS and my group’s. Not some lame badnaid to offset our uselessness.

TAFN … as I think of more I shall speak them.

Old Fogeys FTW

Okay first of all, we are having a SPECTACULAR storm here … I mean, it’s just never ending.

It’s been thundering and lighting here for over 2 hours, and pouring rain for almost ALL of that time.  I don’t just mean a little bit of thunder and a little bit of lighting.  I mean on a scale of 1-10 in all the MANY storms I’ve seen in my life, and I’ve seen a lot growing up in the Pennsylvania country, this is a 9.  It’s literally one of the longest storms I’ve ever sat through.

A minute ago the lightning cracked and boomed so loud and in such succession that it sounded like canons were going off 10 feet from my window.  Then the old lady who has a daughter visiting down below me and one over, her daughter came out onto the balcony and was like “Mom that lightning just hit like right over there” and then about 5 minutes later were all the sirens and firetrucks.

Okay so anyway.  That all has nothing to do with this post.

This post is about Living Legacy.

I like this new promotion, let me say that.  Getting more players into this game is something that should have happened YEARS ago … but better late than never.  I guess, in retrospect, the game is at a better point now, and more attractive now, than it has been in its existence so far, so, now might be a good time to do it.  On the other hand … I felt that, at least 2 years ago, the game was in an excellent state, good enough to get many more players.  But SOE marketing has always seemed flimsy for EQ2.  Aside from a few trade magazines like EGM, MMOG, PLay, etc. there seemed to be very little synergy.  I mean, heck, I can’t even find the current all-in-one on the shelf at Best Buy.  (Okay, I saw one copy.)  Don’t get me wrong - I know that publishers have to pay big bucks to get shelf space and specify triple face-outs and whatnot — but I also know that in the video game world, SOE is akin to a publisher like Wiley, Harper Collins, or Random House.  That is to say (for those nto familiar with the book industry) FUCKING HUGE.  Not some little mom and pop operation.  And yet, finding a copy of EQ2 is like looking for a gray hair on a gorilla?

So anyhow … I do like that new players are getting invited, let me just say that.

Now on to my point.  I have one.  I am getting there.  This is a blog, after all.  I am allowed to ruminate.

While I DO appreciate any influx of players.  I also question the wisdom in leaving long-time subscribers (I don’t mean people with old accounts who can get the 4 years titles when they only played for a month or two — I mean paying subs who have paid every month for 4 years and not missed a day) feeling as if they have been shoved aside.  Even a little title would suffice — something totally unrelated to “veteran” rewards.  Again, I have never quite grasped how it’s fair that people who played a couple months then quit for 3 years come back and are “veterans” — so those rewards are kind of meaningless, IMO.  I am talking about giving a very special title to the paying subscribers — your MOST loyal customers.  It’s like offering the elite membership to an airport VIP for one of the private travel clubs.  Just … something that would tell other players — hey, not only is my account four years old, BUT … I also have actually been PLAYING the GAME and am a TRUE VETERAN … that kind of acknowledgement

.. would not only go a long way in making those players feel valued and appreciated … but look at it this way … if the only way to get it IS to pay and be a constant sub … well … I bet more thana  few people would think twice before quitting.

If MMO’s have taught us anything … it’s that, just like in real life, it’s all about the bling, baby.  Status, power, and wealth.

And being able to SHOW IT ALL OFF when you’re an old fogey.

And, Today, Class …

… today I will discuss a subject of monumental importance. Alcohol. More specifically, THE MARTINI.

Where shall I begin in telling the tale of my love affair with the big M. I think college is a good place to start. Junior year, or rather, the long, languid summer between junior and senior year, the best summer for all students, that time when you aren’t yet concerning yourself with jobs and degrees and graduating and responsibility but yet have enough clout under your belt to finally kick back and enjoy the Big Easy … or if you’re not in NOLA, then, your own little version of it.

My own summer (Shove It) was spent languishing in State College, Pennsylvania. I had two female roommates (wasn’t I lucky? … oh wait) — and we spent most of our time, aside from working — well, ok, they worked, I sort of just laid around — listening to bands like G-Love and Special Sauce (or something like that) and smoking and drinking. Yes, college. That was the life. ‘Keep it copacetic’ was our anthem (WordPress is telling me I spelled that wrong. WordPress is dumb.) and we lived under that motto to the fullest degree.

So it was that some girl who would later be known as Claire called me up one day out of the blue. Who she was I had no idea, but she wanted to drink and for that I am grateful (then, and now) so we hit up this swank bar on the corner or Allen Street, this place called the Allen Street Grill and we met up with this bartender named Lawrence who, within a year, would take his shirt off for us — okay that’s beside the point — and we had these fantastic half-price martini’s. I do have a point, you see.

Claire apparently knew me from my humble origins working as a cashier at one of the local college cafeteria eateries that serviced the psychology grad students and the business big wigs - a job somewhat more classy that slinging food at the actual dorm cafeterias. I was allowed to sit and study or read in between checks, and the checks were brought to me by waiters, all I had to do was ring them up - I didn’t have to deal with the customers at all. At nights. Lunchtime was when the HRIM students ran the show and at those times, yes, I had to haggle with the regulars about the cost of soda and bottled cranberry juice.

So she and I shared our stories over alcohol, and we grw quite fond of Lawrence serving it to us, so much so that we continued our trend — every Sunday night we went to the bar at about 9 and then, after a few, maybe four, or I think our record was 6 each, we would then head, maybe stumbling somewhat unsteadily, down to the club downstairs. The Grill was on the second story of a hotel, actually, and there was a nightclub below it, alongside a gay bar. The gay bar sometimes came into play if one of us had to use the bathroom and therein lies madness and exceedingly fun times.

Our martinis were of all kinds — Cosmos, Dirty, something called Vampires which were red, and blue, we flipped through just about every possible, conceivable martini there ever was in our 3 years of patronage. After Lawrence left there was a nice girl with a huge black braid named Nicole who made our Cosmopolitans the way I like them, Chicago style, very very pale, mostly just a lot of Stolichnaya and a spritz of cranberry with a lemon twist and the visible, faintly, ice chips floating on top after being poured from a vigorous shaking.

Gimlets, orange blossoms, all kinds. Too many to remember and all so delicious. I feel sorry for people who say they never drink because alcohol “lightens the heart and gladdens men’s minds” - you can read that in the Bible, thank you - and to deny yourself that is to feel sorry, indeed, deep, deep down. Claire and I, we made a sport of it, really. We never outdid ourselves, but we tried it all. Scotch, bourbon, vodka, gin, any possible kind you could think of, we drank it.

Now I should caution you, don’t ever mix a martini with anything that has cream in it. Unless it’s a Grasshopper, which is just fantastic after dinner, with desert, or just on a hot summer night. Most bartenders with any kind of class will be able to make you one but some may scratch their heads. If what you get doesn’t come out looking like green milk, then, you’ve just got a bad bartender! Also, if you like nice after dinner drink, try ordering a Stinger. That’s brandy and beware brandy will KNOCK you on your butt if you aren’t used to it!

Okay so where was I?  Alcohol.  Gladdens men’s hearts and all that jazz.  Speaking of jazz, if you ever have the chance, do yourself a favor in Chicago and go to a REAL jazz lounge — the kind with dark leather chairs and lots of smoke — light up a nice strong cigar or pipe, and just sit back with a classic gin martini and sip on it and enjoy the sound.  There’s just … NOTHING … quite like it.  It’s a beautiful experience.

Barring your opportunities to do that, here’s a terrific article on the ‘perfect martini’ (there is no such thing and this article proves precisely why, and why we are infatuated with the idea) :

The Perfect Martnini

Hi-ho, Hi-ho, It’s Off to Work We Go

From Our Favorite Developer™

I am well aware of the issues with many classes and I do in fact read the class forums.  The lack of response is often because if I do respond it sets expectations.  Like for rangers, we acknowledged issues multiple times.  So every update that came along, they asked where their fixes were and started a flurry of new threads.  Coercers on the other hand I knew all along they were having issues and it turned up as a pleasant surprise because I had a few days free on my schedule.

I’m not ignoring any classes or favoring any.  Like I have said a few times recently, in the short term there are no big changes occuring as part of a Live Update.  If I get some free time to do something then I will be the first to let you know but just because I don’t reply in every forum or every thread doesn’t mean I am ignoring you or your class.

It’s Baby Time!

My sister has gone into labor with her first child (who will be my first niece) !

It’s going to be really weird to say “My niece …”

!